Happy New Year

December 31, 2006 at 9:32 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Its been a wild holiday. Beyond the normal holiday madness, here are the things that I learned in the last 4 weeks.

1. Our newest dog, Gypsy, is a Christmas hating godless communist. She spent every day that we had a Christmas tree in some strange and bewildered mental state that resulted in, um, digestive instability. I spent at least 1 hour of everyday for 1 week cleaning that up.

2. When people know you’re going to have a daughter, they give you pink stuff. Pink bibs, pink underwear, pink cups, pink toys, and don’t get me started on the clothes. Pink, pink, pink.

3. A good friend moved to Florida and I missed it. He’s not 70 yet, so I guess I wasn’t expecting him to relocate to the Bermuda Triangle. Poof, gone, like Keyser Sose.

4. I’m sure all prospective parents feel this way, but when you know that the baby is close, the anxiety levels spike in a big way. There aren’t enough projects around the house to prevent massive emotional peaks and valleys from occurring. Makes it hard on the drinkin’.

5. South Park is still d*n funny. Best South Park quote: “Go Jesus.” That seems very Christmassy, so instead off “Merry Christmas” I now simply say “Go Jesus.” It also has the added value of being succinct. Isn’t that the point at Christmas time anyway? It’s not like I stand around doing the raise the roof thing saying Go Jesus, Go Jesus, it’s your birthday, its your birthday. That’s just dumb.

6. Its hard to imbibe only Rum drinks for an entire month. Sometimes its appropriate and/or necessary to drink wine or beer. Carribean beers don’t really have the same cache as rum.

7. By the end of the holidays, you have a s* load of cardboard boxes to breakdown. In my town, the Recycling Nazis enforce the size requirements of 1’x2′. I tried to get 2’x2′ pieces into the recycling truck once. I got rejected over and over again. The Nazis communicate that to you by leaving the cardboard they don’t take in the street. After 3 weeks, they slap a sticker on your recycling bin telling you the dimensions of the cardboard they take. I dislike the Recycling Nazis.

Anyway. Happy New Year. Go Jesus.



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  1. Did you get the giant flaming pink bean bag for the living room yet? All you can hope now is that the pink doesn’t take. We lost that battle years ago. Next battle Barbies. “Friends” find a way to sneak those swearword things into your house too. We’ll prepare a list to help you battle your friends and family- believe me Raven will seem like a breeze compared to those other folks you know and love.

  2. OK, so I’m a week late in my Blog reading, but I just have to say that was the funniest freakin’ thing I’ve read in a long time!!!!

    One last word to the wise…avoid Elmo and Barney for as long as possible 😉 Really…make a wise old uncle happy!!


  3. Great reading! Thanks for keeping me laughing. Hey, have you guys received your TA yet? I can’t wait for you to travel…..

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